Shattered
by cmfanbex
Summary: JJ is taken hostage during a press conference. How will she deal with the consequences? Rated M for descriptions of sexual assault.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N As always with my stories, Will is out of the picture. This isn't because I dislike Will – I actually quite like the way his relationship with JJ is portrayed on the show. However, I personally cannot write them together and make it sound convincing and, anyway, his presence does limit JJ's relationships with other characters.**

**So here is my next fic – I hope you like it!**

Shattered

Chapter 1

Penelope Garcia watched with pride as her friend and colleague Agent Jennifer Jareau stood on a platform outside of the Police Department in Bristol, Rhode Island and wrapped the press around her little finger. The team had been away on this case for four days now and had been working punishing 16 hour days, but only a friend would notice the tiredness in JJ's face. They were chasing a serial rapist and murderer who had abducted, raped and killed five women in the past 2 weeks. The team had initially struggled to get any useful information on the case – the local PD had only invited them to join the case as a last resort and were extremely unhelpful in the beginning – but had now managed to narrow their profile down to one man. 40 year old Justin Thompson matched their profile in every way and had been linked to all of the previous victims. The only problem being that they were struggling to find enough direct evidence to charge him.

Hotch and Morgan had worked with JJ to plan a press conference with the sole aim of drawing Thompson out. Having deduced from his crimes that he was a very angry man, with a particular issue with successful women, they hoped that JJ announcing his faults and issues to the world would be enough to cause him to make a mistake.

The team were currently staking out his home where they hoped he was still keeping his latest victim. They were sure that she was dead, but still in the house, as this followed the pattern of the previous crimes. If he reacted to JJ's press conference as they hoped, they would catch him as he left the house to hide the body.

Garcia's attention returned to JJ as her friend began to describe the profile that the team had given her.

"We are looking for a white man in his late 30s to early 40s" she was saying. "He is likely to be of average build; he will probably not look very strong or imposing. In fact, he will generally be quite unnoticeable – he will blend in. He is single, having just come out of a relationship between 2 and 3 weeks ago. His ex-partner is in her 30s and has a successful career – she is much more successful than him and this caused the breakdown in their relationship. He is likely to work in some kind of low paid job and his colleagues may have noticed that he has been easy to upset in the last few weeks. He may even have been aggressive, especially with women and it is possible that this has caused him to be suspended or even fired from his job. If you recognise this description, please phone Bristol PD on the number on your screens."

Garcia watched as JJ smiled at the journalists and asked for any questions.

"That all sounds very specific" one journalist scoffed. "Where are you getting this information?"

"The BAU uses information from thousands of previous crimes to make judgments on the character of the criminal" JJ answered confidently. "Our team have ascertained from these crimes that our unsub is a classic anger-excitation rapist..."

JJ's explanation was interrupted when someone from the crowd of journalists rushed onto the platform and knocked her to the ground. Garcia watched in horror as he grabbed JJ by the hair and pulled her back into a standing position. It was only then that she saw the glint of the blade that he was holding against JJ's neck as he used her as a shield between him and the dozens of police officers currently aiming their guns in his direction.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – This chapter is the reason why this fic is rated M. There will be descriptions of sexual assault. I would really appreciate it if I could get some feedback on this one. This is the first time that I have written anything like this and I am worried that I have been too descriptive. Let me know what you think. If people think I have gone too far then I will re-do this chapter.**

Chapter 2

JJ felt a sudden sharp pain in her neck as the agitated man, whom she quickly recognised as Justin Thompson, pushed the knife into her neck whilst shouting at the police officers to put their guns down. He continued to push the knife further into her neck and she could feel blood beginning to drip slowly down her neck. The officers, obviously recognising that he was serious, reluctantly lowered their guns. The local sheriff who had been working closely with JJ over the past few days holstered his gun, stepped forward and held his hands in the air.

"Sir" he said, feigning ignorance of the man's identity, "I need you to let Agent Jareau go and tell me how I can help you."

Thompson pulled JJ closer to him and answered, "I'm not letting her go. She's going to take me to her team so they can tell me how they knew all of that stuff about me."

"If you let Agent Jareau go" the sheriff answered calmly, "you can come into the station with me and I can get the BAU to come here to talk to you."

"No!" Thompson shouted, once again putting pressure on the knife against JJ's neck, this time opening up a new wound. JJ felt herself beginning to panic and willed herself to calm down; she would be of no use to anyone if she lost it now.

Thompson began to move off of the platform, dragging JJ with him and keeping the police and their guns in sight at all times. He dragged her to one of the news vans which was waiting on the road and screamed at the female tech who was working in the back to get into the front and drive.

"And if you aren't in the front seat and this van isn't moving in the next 30 seconds I will slit this agent's throat – do you understand me?" he yelled.

The tech locked eyes with JJ for a few seconds. She was clearly terrified and JJ attempted to nod encouragingly, to let her know that she was OK – although she was actually far from it. The tech disappeared to the front of the van and Thompson threw JJ into the van before sliding the door shut and quickly kneeling over her. Using his free hand to grab her by the throat, he put his knife down by her feet and did the same with her gun once he had disarmed her. She struggled against him, kicking and hitting him with all of her strength, but as she did so he gradually increased the pressure on her throat, slowly cutting off her air supply. As soon as she realised what he was doing, she stopped struggling.

"Good girl" he said chillingly. "It took the others alot longer to learn that lesson."

He kept his eyes on her as he yelled directions at the tech who was driving the van.

"We're going back to my place" he said calmly to JJ once he had finished. "After all, that's where I last saw your team. I'm going to find out where they got all of their information from."

As he was talking he was gently stroking her face with his free hand. She shuddered, but didn't fight him. The profile the team had shared with her had left her with no doubt that he would kill her if she angered him.

In complete silence, he continued to stroke her face before moving his hand lower to her collar bone. As he slipped his hand under the collar of her blouse and stroked her skin, she couldn't stop some tears escaping down her cheeks. He smiled when she saw the tears and continued in his ministrations. He moved his hand lower still and began to unbutton her blouse. At this, all logic escaped her and she began to struggle again. Immediately he tightly squeezed her throat, cutting off all of her oxygen supply. She stopped struggling, but he continued to squeeze.

"I thought you'd learnt that lesson" he whispered in her ear before he finally released the pressure just as her vision had started to blur. She struggled to take in air, even once he had let go. She winced in pain as the air stung her damaged throat.

Without emotion he went back to where he had left off, slipping the second, third and fourth buttons of her blouse out of their holes. He pulled the material apart before beginning to stoke the skin just above and below her bra. She shuddered again and more tears escaped as she realised that they were at least 10 minutes away from his house, leaving plenty of time for him to do what he wanted with her.

As he put his hand over her bra and stroked her through the material he once again whispered in her ear, this time saying "I'm going to enjoy this." He then moved his hand down to the top of her pants and popped open the top button before moving his hand inside. He spent a few moments playing with the lace at the top of her panties. JJ was sobbing now, although determined not to beg him to stop. She knew what was going to happen and knew that he would only gain for satisfaction from her begging; it certainly wouldn't stop him. She tried to prepare herself for what was he was about to do, but the panic was beginning to take over and she was losing all ability to think logically.

It was at this point that he moved his hand inside of her panties and, without warning, roughly thrust three fingers inside her. Her body reacted to the shock and pain and she kicked out at him without being able to think of the consequences, catching him hard in the groin. He reacted furiously, painfully withdrawing his fingers and once again squeezing her neck. He tightened his grasp and the world started to blur as he bent down to whisper in her ear.

"You are really going to wish you didn't do that" he said before biting sharply down on her ear. She tried to scream, but he was still strangling her. The edges of her vision were black now and she realised that she wasn't going to get out of this alive. She had heard people say that your life flashed before your eyes when you were dying, but it wasn't like that at all. All she could see; all she could think of, was a future where Henry had to grow up without his Mother.

As her mind began to shut down he abruptly let go and she immediately concentrated on pulling in painful, but vital, lungfuls of air. She was so focused on this that she wasn't ready for what was coming next. Thompson quickly started to hit out at her head and face, punching her 6 or 7 times. Her vision began to blur even more worryingly and she failed to notice him standing up. She did, however, feel the immense pain in her side as he kicked out at her. He kicked her twice in the side before she curled protectively in on herself. This didn't stop him however, as he continued to kick her angrily, this time catching her 4 or 5 times on the back.

She was disorientated now and in extreme amounts of pain, but she did notice that the van had stopped and she figured, somewhere in her confused mind, that they must have reached their destination. He stopped kicking her and she heard him ordering the driver to stay where she was. JJ rolled onto her back, feeling that her ordeal was finally over. Opening her eyes as much as she could through the swelling that had already appeared, she didn't have time to react as she saw his right foot coming down towards her body. He stamped hard on her chest and she heard the sickening sound of bones breaking before a welcoming darkness began to overtake her. Before she could finally succumb to the darkness though, he had grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the van where her team were waiting, guns drawn.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N. Thanks to foxyfeline, Black Tulip and yumalatar for their comments on chapter 2. You have reassured me and I'm going to leave it as it is. Here's chapter 3!**

Chapter 3

Derek Morgan was sat in a car with Prentiss and Rossi, staking out the front of Thompson's house. They were well hidden in a side road with a perfect view of the front door. They hadn't seen any movement since they had watched Thompson enter the house 3 hours ago and he knew that Hotch and Reid, hidden in the back garden, had seen nothing either. His phone rang and he smiled when he saw that it was Garcia, who had been given instructions to call them when the press conference had finished.

"Hey baby girl" he said, "how did it go?"

"He was at the press conference" was the panicked reply. He could hear tears in her voice as she continued. "He's got JJ Derek."

His heart immediately sank as he took in her words. His shock must have shown on his face as Prentiss and Rossi immediately asked him what was happening.

"I'm putting you on speaker Garcia" he said shakily. "Could you repeat what you just said?"

Her voice echoed around the car as she repeated her words. Morgan watched as both Prentiss and Rossi took in the news, both closing their eyes against the panic.

"He jumped her on stage" Garcia continued. "He had a knife with him. He...he cut her neck twice before he dragged her over to a news van and shoved her inside. He has forced a woman to drive the van and he's in the back with JJ." Her voice broke as she said this, obviously recognising what this last piece of news meant.

"Where are they now?" Prentiss asked urgently.

"Local PD are following the van" Garcia answered. "They say that he is heading your way."

"Tell them to pull back Garcia" Rossi said. He looked at both Prentiss and Morgan and received answering nods. "He's coming here to confront us. They would just complicate matters."

"We'll get her back baby girl" Morgan reassured her as she ended the call. He knew how close she and JJ, and Prentiss for that matter, were. He looked at the female agent and could see that her normally pale skin was now close to grey and that there were unshed tears in her eyes. He quickly called Hotch and filled him in on what had happened. They all got out of the car, no longer needing to stay out of sight. Hotch and Reid arrived almost immediately. Hotch took control, as he always did in times of emergency.

"He's going to want to find out how we developed the profile" he started calmly. "I think we should use that to distract him."

"He's so focused on himself" Reid interrupted, "that we should be able to have one person communicating with JJ whilst we talk to him. Emily could be preparing JJ to drop to the floor so we could take Thompson out without risking her."

"It's a good plan" said Prentiss carefully, "but I think it should be someone else. I'm too close to JJ. It needs to be someone who could be reasonably detached."

"I'll do it" Morgan offered. "I'll take JJ through the process and I'll take Thompson down, but I think that Prentiss needs to be the one to help JJ once it's all over. We all know what he is probably doing, or trying to do, in that van. I think the rest of us need to keep away from JJ to start with – we may cause her to panic."

They all reluctantly agreed. Morgan could tell that they had all been trying to suppress their thoughts about what was happening to JJ as they spoke, but they all recognised the importance of planning for the consequences. They spent a few more minutes fine tuning their plan before waiting impatiently for Thompson to arrive.

Just over 10 minutes after they had received Garcia's call they saw the van approaching the house. They all placed themselves in a semi-circle around the side door and waited for it to open. Morgan heard someone gasp in shock as Thompson emerged from the van with a gun pointing at JJ's head. He barely managed to suppress a gasp himself as he took in JJ's condition. There was blood dripping down her neck from a wound on her ear, which looked like a bite mark and from two cuts on the side of her throat. Her face was bloodied and swollen and was beginning to bruise. There was a shoe shaped mark on her chest which was also beginning to bruise. This led him to his most concerning realisation; her blouse was half opened and the top button on her pants was undone. She was clearly disorientated and in some considerable pain. This posed a massive problem for him – he needed her to be focused and clear minded for their plan to work.

He forced himself to allow the conversation between Thompson and his team mates to wash over him as he focused all of his energy on JJ. As Thompson settled his focus on the rest of the BAU Morgan could see that JJ was beginning to become more aware of her surroundings. She looked carefully at the faces of the rest of the team before coming to rest on Morgan. He was glad that she was still with it enough to be following FBI protocol for hostage situations involving agents. He drew her attention to his right hand and gave her the thumbs up signal. She nodded warily, obviously not wanting to disturb Thompson. Morgan spread his hand out so that all four fingers and his thumb were fully extended. He slowly curled in his thumb and looked to JJ for recognition. She nodded again. He then proceeded to slowly curl in his index, middle and ring fingers before finishing with his pinkie finger. He watched as JJ immediately became a dead weight in Thompson's grasp and fell to the floor. Morgan shouted at Thompson to drop his gun, still pointing his own gun at the man's head. When Thompson didn't put the gun down, but instead began to aim it at JJ who was curled up on the floor, Morgan did not hesitate to shoot him right between the eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Emily's heart dropped as she noted the appearance of her friend as she was dragged out of the van. She slowly took in the blood and the bruising, but the one thing that nearly caused her to lose her focus was the pain and fear that was all too apparent in JJ's eyes. She forced herself to pull her focus back to Thompson and the conversation that he was currently having with the rest of the team. Hotch was explaining to Thompson how they had used evidence from his crimes to deduce that he had a hatred of successful women and that, therefore, he was likely to have been in a bad relationship with a successful woman. At this point Emily felt that she needed to get involved, realising that her gender alone would be enough to irritate him and, hopefully, pull his attention away from JJ.

"You just couldn't cope with the fact that she was more successful than you, could you?" Emily said disdainfully. "It was the same with all of these women – they were beautiful and successful. They had everything that you didn't have – that you will never have. What was her name – the woman who left you? Did she leave you? Was she so disgusted at you that she couldn't take it anymore? Or did you leave her? You just couldn't cope with the daily reminders of what a complete and utter loser you are, could you?"

She knew she had hit a nerve when Thompson stared directly at her with a look of complete fury on his face. Out of the corner of her eye she could see JJ begin to drop to the floor and she heard Morgan ordering Thompson to drop his weapon. When the killer turned his gun towards JJ they all took aim, but it was Morgan who took the shot. She watched in horror as the literally dead weight of Justin Thompson landed squarely on JJ's chest. JJ's eyes flew open in shock and pain and she opened her mouth as if to scream, but no noise came out. Hotch and Morgan immediately ran to drag the body of their friend.

As soon as JJ was free to move she struggled to sit up. Emily was by her side in seconds, trying to get her to lie back down. Her friend looked pale and dizzy. Emily figured that she would be safest laid down flat until the paramedics arrived.

"JJ sweetie" she said soothingly, "it's OK... You're safe. You need to lie down."

"No" JJ croaked. Her voice was raw and she was clearly struggling to speak. "Need to sit up...can't breathe...broken ribs."

Emily helped her friend into a sitting position and noted that her breathing, whilst slightly easier, was still laboured. She turned to the rest of the team and asked somebody to call the paramedics. She felt JJ panicking as she supported her.

"No ambulance" she said hoarsely, her breathing becoming shallower and quicker as she panicked.

"JJ" she said firmly, as she knelt in front of her friend, "you need to see a doctor."

"I know" JJ said weakly, "but not in an ambulance. Please don't make me."

Emily followed JJ's tearful gaze and immediately recognised the source of her panic. She was staring at the van that Thompson had used to transport her there. Emily quickly realised that travelling in the back of an ambulance was too closely connected in JJ's mind to whatever had happened in the back of that van. She motioned to the team to cancel the ambulance and took JJ's shaking hands in her own.

"If you can get to the car, I'll drive you to the hospital Jayje" she said soothingly, "but if I think it's too much for you, we'll have to call the paramedics."

JJ nodded in agreement and began to try to stand up. Even with Emily's help, she was pale and sweating by the time she was stood. Emily allowed her to lean on her for a few minutes to catch her breath before supporting her as she slowly walked towards the car. She helped her into the seat and gingerly pulled her seat belt around her, terrified that she was going to hurt her. By the time Emily had walked around the car to the driving seat, JJ was leant back against her seat with her eyes closed.

"JJ sweetie" Emily said reluctantly. "I know you must be exhausted, but I need you to stay with me until we get to the hospital. Can you open your eyes for me?"

JJ opened her eyes and gave Emily a weak smile, clearly trying to reassure her, but she was obviously in alot of pain. They drove silently to the hospital, which was thankfully only 15 minutes away. When they arrived Emily parked in the spot reserved for the police and jumped out of the driving seat. She was quickly met by an angry looking security guard telling her that she couldn't park there. She showed him her credentials and asked him to get help. She watched as he ran into the hospital and then turned to open JJ's door. By the time she had released her friend's seatbelt, help had arrived. Emily was relieved to note that both the doctor and nurse who had appeared were female. She quickly took the doctor aside, explaining the situation as she understood it and asked if JJ could be treated by women only. The doctor agreed and the 3 women helped JJ to step out of the car and sit down in a wheelchair. Emily followed the doctor as she wheeled JJ through the waiting room and into a private side room. The doctor and nurse worked together to get JJ comfortable on the bed and only when they had finished did the doctor introduce herself.

"Agent...?" she started, looking quizzically at JJ.

"Jareau" JJ croaked.

"Agent Jareau" the doctor continued. "My name is Dr Laura Parkinson and I will be treating you today. I can see that you have some bruising to your face and some wounds on your neck and ear and I can hear that you are struggling to speak. Can you tell me what else hurts?"

JJ laughed mirthlessly before saying "you might be better off asking me where it doesn't hurt."

The doctor passed over JJ's attempt at humour, looking at her in concern and saying, "it might be best if you tell me exactly what happened – that way I'll know what I need to check out."

Emily watched as indecision crossed JJ's face. She was obviously not sure that she was ready to talk about what had happened to her. Just as Emily was about to tell the doctor that it was too early for this, JJ spoke.

"Fine" she said, clearly trying to sound strong, "but I want Emily to stay and write this down – I'd rather not have to do this again."

Emily recognised this as a strategy for JJ to keep an emotional distance from her whilst she told her story. While this may not be healthy in the long term, she realised that it was what JJ needed now, so she sat in the chair and got her notebook out as she tried to prepare herself for what she was about to hear.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

JJ deliberately looked straight ahead as she prepared to tell the doctor what had happened. She hoped that she would manage to hold it together long enough to get through this.

"I didn't see him coming" she started quietly. Every word was an effort thanks to the broken ribs and what would seem to be a badly damaged throat. "He jumped up on the podium and knocked me to the floor."

"Did you hit your head?" the doctor interrupted.

JJ slowly shook her head, saying "I didn't hit the floor that hard – I might have bruised my arm, but that was it. He pulled me up straight away and held the knife to my neck. The two cuts were from when he was trying to warn the police off and when the Sheriff made him angry. He dragged me over to the van and threw me in – I don't think that did any real damage either."

She paused slightly to catch her breath and swallowed in an attempt to lubricate her throat. The doctor quickly offered her a glass of water, which she took. She took a sip from the glass and swallowed, grimacing at the pain that this action caused.

"He knelt over me and grabbed me by the throat" she continued, trying to sound detached. "He put the knife on the floor by my feet and took my gun and put it there too. I tried to fight against him, but every time I fought he would put more pressure on my throat. I started to feel dizzy, so I stopped struggling."

She paused again, partly because her throat was hurting, but also because she was struggling to keep her emotions in check. The doctor offered her water again, but she shook her head and continued speaking.

"He released the pressure when I stopped struggling and ... he called me... he said I was a 'good girl'." She said these words with utter disdain. "He told me that they others had taken longer to learn the lesson. He started to stroke my face and my ... my neck and then he started to undo my blouse."

She couldn't stop the tears from falling at this point as she remembered what had happened next. Emily had obviously noticed this and walked over to the bed. She took JJ's hand in her own and asked her if she wanted to stop. JJ stayed rigidly still, staring straight ahead as she answered.

"No" she said as firmly as she could, considering that her voice was rapidly disappearing. "I want to finish this now."

JJ was glad that Emily was so perceptive. Her friend made no comment, but quickly sat herself down, pausing only to squeeze JJ's hand reassuringly.

"I think I just stopped thinking for a moment" she said tearfully, "because I couldn't stop myself from fighting him again. He didn't increase the pressure gradually this time – he just full out strangled me – and he didn't stop when I stopped fighting. By the time he did stop, my vision had already begun to go black around the edges. When he did release the pressure I tried to take a deep breath – that's when it started to hurt to breath."

JJ took another break, this time accepting the water. As painful as it was to swallow, she recognised that her voice was quickly disappearing and that she needed to rehydrate.

"When he'd finished, he went straight back to opening my blouse, as if nothing had happened, and then he started to ... touch me."

She tried to take a deep breath to help keep the tears away, but immediately regretted it when her ribs protested at the movement.

"Then he opened the button on my pants and put his hand inside." She had reached the part of the story that she had been dreading. She could feel herself starting to hyperventilate, but continued. "Then he ... he ... umm ...Oh God..." At this point the tears started in earnest. Emily immediately stopped writing and walked back over to the bed. She pulled JJ into a gentle hug and let her cry into her shoulder.

After a few minutes she felt calm enough to continue talking, although the combination of the tears and previous talking had reduced her voice to a near whisper. She pulled away from Emily, but kept hold of her hand, recognising that it was going to be impossible to keep any kind of emotional distance in this situation. As she described to Dr Parkinson and Emily what Thompson had done to her in the back of that van, she could feel Emily rhythmically stroking the back of her hand. The repetitive action calmed her slightly and she was able to move on without losing it. After she described the sexual assault, the doctor asked her a question.

"Did it hurt?" she prompted.

JJ nodded and closed her eyes. "It hurt so much I kicked out at him without thinking" she said. "He was so angry. He started by strangling me again, then he whispered in my ear that I was going to regret kicking him and he bit my ear. I tried to scream, but he was still strangling me. Everything went black – I thought I was dying."

She stopped again, barely able to speak by now. She felt Emily squeeze her hand and felt strengthened by her support.

"But then he just stopped. I was so focused on breathing that I didn't see what was coming next. He started hitting me in the face – that's when it starts to get a bit patchy. I know he stopped hitting me and started kicking me – I'm pretty sure he kicked my side and my back, but I don't know exactly where. I just know my whole body hurts. Then the van stopped and he stopped kicking me. I thought it was all over, so I rolled onto my back and he stamped hard on my chest – I heard bones breaking."

She leant back against the pillows at this point and closed her eyes. She had had enough; she was exhausted and in absolute agony. What she wanted was some serious painkillers and a nice strong sedative. Emily and the doctor obviously recognised that she had reached the edge of her ability to cope. Emily quickly finished the story, explaining that Thompson had fallen on JJ when he had been shot.

The doctor turned to JJ and explained what would be happening next;

"I'm going to get one of the nurses to put a line in and give you some painkillers. I will give you a sedative later, if you decide that you need it, but for the time being I'm going to need you to be conscious" she explained. "Given the extent of his physical attack on you, I'm going to arrange an MRI scan to check your whole body for broken bones and internal bleeding. I also think it would be sensible for us to do a sexual assault examination."

At this JJ's eyes flew open and she looked in panic at the doctor. She really wasn't ready for that to happen.

"I know that this is the last thing that you want at the moment" the doctor explained calmly, "and I won't do it yet, but given your description of the assault, I do need to check that he hasn't done any damage."

JJ blinked the tears away and nodded reluctantly. As much as she didn't want it to happen, she recognised that it was necessary.

"One final thing" the doctor said. "I'm pretty sure that he has damaged your voice box by putting too much pressure on it. I need you to avoid talking as much as possible for the time being. Now, I'm going to send the nurse in with your painkillers and I'm going to try to organise your scan. I think it would be a good idea for you to get some rest."

JJ lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes again as the doctor left. Emily continued to stroke her hand comfortingly and she could feel herself beginning to drowse. Unfortunately, at this point the nurse came in to set up her IV line. It was done quickly and relatively painlessly. Within 10 minutes she was feeling its benefit and she was able to drop off into a light sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Please forgive me for any medical mistakes – most of it was just guess work!**

Chapter 6

Emily could feel JJ's hand go limp in hers as she dropped off to sleep. She was glad that her friend was managing to get some rest, although she was sure that it wouldn't last long. She gently pulled her hand away from JJ's and returned to her chair in the corner of the room. She moved the chair closer to JJ and pulled her notepad back out. She knew she needed to get all of the information that JJ had given her noted down, so that her friend wouldn't have to repeat it later.

Just as she was finishing her notes a nurse walked into the room, carrying a hospital gown, and explained that they needed to get JJ out of her own clothes. Emily reluctantly woke JJ by softly calling her name. JJ woke quickly and Emily explained what the nurse needed.

"Do you want me to leave?" Emily asked.

JJ shook her head and looked pleadingly at Emily, obviously wanting her to stay. The nurse was surprisingly sensitive to JJ's situation. She talked JJ through everything she did; warning her before she undid and then removed her blouse. As JJ leant forward so the nurse could remove her blouse Emily caught sight of the bruising that had already appeared on JJ's chest, side and back. It was brutal – covering almost the whole of her torso. The nurse quickly covered JJ with the gown, fastening it around her back before moving to the foot of the bed to remove her shoes and socks. She then pulled the blanket over JJ and asked her if she wanted to remove her own trousers, which JJ did, slowly and painfully. The nurse bagged up JJ's clothes and then told them both that she would be back in a few minutes to stitch up JJ's neck and ear and to clean the minor cuts on her face.

As the nurse left Emily gently took hold of JJ's hand again. She could see that the act of changing into the gown had caused her friend alot of pain and she wanted to offer her some comfort. She was surprised when JJ turned to face her and spoke.

"I was so scared Em" she said tearfully. "I thought I was going to die. I thought I would never see Henry again."

"Oh Jayje" she said, her heart breaking as she saw the fear in her friend's eyes. She pulled her friend into a hug and stroked her hair as she cried.

"It's completely natural to be scared" she said, in what she hoped was a reassuring way, "but you have nothing to be scared of anymore. He's gone... He's dead."

JJ's tears slowly subsided and Emily pulled back slightly and gently used her thumbs to wipe away her tears. Just as she was about to talk again they were interrupted by the nurse who had come to treat JJ's wounds. The nurse apologised and offered to some back later, but JJ sat back and invited her to come in, clearly wanting to get this over and done with. Emily kept hold of JJ's hand throughout the procedure, as the nurse injected JJ's neck and ear with a local anaesthetic, cleaned all of her wounds and then stitched the three main wounds up. Once the nurse had finished, the doctor returned with a porter to take JJ to the scanner. Emily was told that she would need to stay in the room, so she gave JJ's hand another squeeze and watched her being wheeled away. She took the opportunity to quickly call the team and bring them up to speed. She dialled Hotch's number.

"Prentiss?" he answered almost immediately. "How is she?"

She paused before answering cautiously. "She's just been taken for an MRI scan. They've stitched up her neck wounds and the bite on her ear."

"Why does she need a scan?" she heard Morgan ask. She realised that Hotch had put her on speakerphone.

"He kicked her repeatedly and stamped on her chest" Emily explained, hearing sounds of disgust and anger coming from the other side of the phone. "They want to check for broken bones and internal bleeding."

"Has she spoken to you about what happened?" Hotch asked.

"She has" Emily confirmed, "and I've written it all down. She said that she didn't want to have to say it all again."

"Did he... was she...?" Reid was obviously struggling to put into words what they all needed to know.

"She wasn't technically raped" Emily answered to unspoken question, "but he did assault her."

She heard a bang and guessed that Morgan had once again taken his anger out on an inanimate object.

"Where are you?" Emily asked.

"We're just finishing up at Thompson's house" Rossi answered. "We found the body of Lucy Jameson in the basement and also found a side exit that we missed in the initial survey, which is how he left the house without us noticing."

"Are you on your way here next?" Emily asked.

"We are, if you think that's sensible" Hotch answered. He paused before continuing. "You haven't answered my first question Prentiss – how is she?"

Emily sighed; she'd been hoping to avoid that question. "She's... not too good. She's in alot of pain. She's almost definitely got a few broken ribs and he damaged her vocal cords by repeatedly strangling her – he damn near killed her – so she's finding breathing and talking difficult right now. And she's scared, you know? She's really struggling, obviously. I think it might be sensible if you leave visiting until later. She's really not up to visitors at the moment."

Hotch quickly agreed with her assessment, telling her that they would go and finish up at the station and would call her when they were finished there.

"Has someone called Garcia?" Emily asked.

"I called her quickly as soon as we knew JJ was safe" Morgan replied, "but I'll call her again now – I wanted to wait until I had something to tell her."

Emily could hear what sounded like JJ being wheeled back to the room, so she finished the call quickly. JJ's bed was wheeled back into place and the nurse quickly reattached the IV.

"OK Jayje?" Emily asked gently as the nurse left them alone.

JJ nodded weakly, but said nothing. Emily grabbed her hand again and they waited in silence for the doctor to return. They didn't have long to wait as Dr Parkinson walked in after 5 minutes, holding JJ's chart.

"Agents." She greeted them as she walked in. "I've got the results of Agent Jareau's scan here. I think, given the number of injuries, I'll work from the head down. Agent Jareau, you've got a mild concussion, which is probably showing itself as a severe headache."

Emily watched as JJ nodded her agreement before turning back to look at the doctor.

"You've broken three ribs – two in the centre of your chest and one on your left side" the doctor continued. "Unfortunately there isn't a great deal that we can do to treat broken ribs other than rest and painkillers. They will take about 6 weeks to heal."

"Will she be able to fly home?" Emily asked.

"There is no reason why she shouldn't fly" Dr Parkinson answered. "There is no apparent damage to the lungs so there shouldn't be any problems, although it is likely to be quite painful. The rest of the damage is relatively minor – there are no more broken bones and no internal damage, but your back particularly is very badly bruised. Just as with the ribs, it will take some time, and lots of rest, to heal."

The doctor paused and Emily could see that she was uncomfortable with what she had to say next.

"What the scan couldn't tell us" she said, "was the exact nature of the damage to your throat and... whether any damage was done during the sexual assault."

Emily felt JJ's hand clench and her whole body tense. She tried to comfort her, but was shrugged off. She immediately recognised that JJ had shut herself off again, in an attempt to get through what she knew was going to happen next.

"With your permission Agent Jareau" the doctor continued nervously, "I'd like to complete the sexual assault examination now and also quickly check out your throat."

JJ nodded without speaking, her whole body tense.

"Would you like me to wait outside Jayje?" Emily offered, realising that JJ probably wouldn't want her to be in the room for this. JJ gave her a relieved smile and nodded thankfully. Emily gave her a quick hug before leaving the room and finding a quiet corner in the waiting room. She sank into the plastic chair and put her head in her hands, exhausted.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

As Emily sat there, the full weight of the day's events overtook her. Watching one of her best friends fall apart was nearly killing her. JJ was normally so strong and so vivacious that seeing her so vulnerable was heartbreaking for Emily. She impatiently wiped tears from her eyes, but they continued to fall. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice someone sitting down beside her, so she was shocked when a hand offered her a tissue.

"Are you OK?" asked a gentle voice which Emily vaguely recognised. She looked up and saw that it was the nurse who had treated JJ earlier.

Emily took the tissue and wiped the tears away before answering. "I'm fine" she said, trying to give the nurse a reassuring smile. "I just ... It's just ..."

"You're good friends" the nurse interrupted, "you and Agent Jareau?"

"The best" Emily responded simply.

"Seeing her like this" the nurse continued, "hurt and ... vulnerable; it's hard for you. You're so used to her being in control and strong, that you're not sure if you can cope with seeing her fall apart."

Emily looked up in shock at how perceptive the nurse had been.

"I think maybe you should be doing my job" she said lightly. "I'm not normally that easy to read."

"I'm not reading you" the nurse replied. "I've been where you are now – I know what it feels like. My best friend was raped a few months ago. I was the one that she called when it happened and I supported her through the aftermath. I know how it feels to see someone that you're close to go through something like this. I used to cry myself to sleep some nights. I didn't want her to see how upset I was and I felt guilty – I had no right to be upset after what she had been through."

"How is she now?" Emily asked.

"She's getting there" the nurse replied, smiling. "She's just come back to work and she seems really positive about it. I don't think she'll ever fully get over it, but she is beginning to move on. From what I've see, Agent Jareau is strong – she'll get there. I'm not saying that it won't be tough, but she'll get through this, with your help."

"Thank you" Emily said genuinely. "That really helps ... I'm sorry, I don't know your name."

"Chloe" said the nurse.

"Thank you Chloe" Emily repeated. "My name is Emily and Agent Jareau is actually JJ."

Emily checked her watch and realised that quite some time had passed since she had left JJ's room.

"I'm sure they won't be long" Chloe said reassuringly, "They'll call you when..."

She stopped talking when they both heard alarms going off in JJ's room. Chloe tried to hold her back, but Emily dodged past her and burst into the room. JJ was sat up, surrounded by doctors and nurses. She was coughing and choking, with tears of pain streaming down her face. Her face was grey and her lips were turning blue and there was a look of complete panic in her eyes.

"What happened?" Emily shouted.

"Her SATS are falling," one of the nurses told the doctor, ignoring Emily's question. "They're down to 75%."

"Someone get me a dose of Pentobarbital" the doctor ordered. "I'm going to have to intubate."

At this, Emily stood in front of the doctor, determined to be heard.

"Will you please tell me what is happening" she demanded.

"She started coughing when I was examining her throat" the doctor said impatiently, "then couldn't stop. Now she's panicking and she's not getting enough oxygen. I'm going to have to intubate her."

"Will you just give me a minute to see if I can get her to calm down?" Emily asked.

"You've got 2 minutes" the doctor said, "and then I'll have no choice."

Emily nodded and moved to stand in front of her friend.

"JJ" she said firmly as she took hold of her friend's hands. "Look at me."

JJ squeezed Emily's hands hard, demonstrating just how much pain she was in, but she did turn her face towards her friend.

"You need to calm down and breathe JJ" Emily said, trying desperately hard to stay calm herself. "You need to breathe Jayje. If you don't, they're going to put a tube down your throat and then you'll be stuck in this hospital for at least a week and won't be able to go home and see Henry."

She could see that she was getting through to JJ at this point as JJ's eyes locked with hers.

"That's it Jayje" she continued. "I need you to take a deep breath in, OK?"

JJ nodded and did her best to follow Emily's instruction. After a few attempts JJ finally managed to take a breath without chocking and within 2 minutes Emily had got her breathing relatively normally, although she was still clearly in alot of pain and had collapsed, exhausted, against the pillows.

The doctor looked at Emily gratefully before asking JJ if she needed stronger painkillers. JJ nodded weakly, which showed Emil just how much pain she must have been in. JJ was the type to refuse any painkillers to a point that most people would find ridiculous. Dr Parkinson explained that she would be putting JJ on Morphine temporarily and that it would probably make her drowsy. Emily watched as one of the nurses fed the Morphine into JJ's IV and was extremely relieved to feel JJ's death grip on her hand gradually loosen. Within five minutes of the drugs entering her system, JJ was fast asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_She was back in that van with Thompson kneeling over her, his hand on her throat. She could feel the life flowing from her body as he squeezed and squeezed, but this time he didn't let go. Instead he knelt up, putting all of his weight behind his hands. She tried desperately to struggle against him, but could feel herself slipping away. She made one last desperate attempt to breathe, but it was vain. The world went black around her._

She woke with a start, sitting up and gasping for breath. Emily was by her side in seconds.

"It's OK Jayje" she said, whilst gently rubbing her back. "You're OK. It was just a nightmare. You're safe."

JJ continued to gasp for breath, but could feel her heartbeat, which had been frantic, calming slightly. As the panic began to subside she could feel the pain that her gasping breaths had caused and she made a supreme effort to slow her breathing down. She lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes, brushing a few stray tears from her cheeks. As she took a few minutes to compose herself, she could hear Emily talking to the nurse, who had been alerted by the change in JJ's heart rate. Emily explained what had happened and the nurse approached the bed.

"Agent Jareau ... JJ?" the nurse started. JJ looked up, surprised that she knew to call her that. "Is it OK to call you JJ?"

JJ nodded and the nurse continued talking; "I'm Chloe" she said gently. "How are you feeling?"

JJ thought carefully before answering. Part of her wanted to lie and tell the nurse that she was fine, in the hope that they would send her home, but she realised that it wouldn't help anyone, least of all herself.

"I think the morphine is wearing off" she said hoarsely.

"Where does it hurt?" the nurse asked.

"Mainly my back and chest" JJ replied. If she was being completely honest she would have replied that, once again, pretty much everything hurt, but she didn't want to worry Emily anymore than she already had.

"I could give you another dose of the morphine" Chloe offered, "or I could get you a different painkiller – one that would not be as strong, but which would make you less sleepy."

JJ's main aim at the moment was to get discharged so she could go home and see her son and she figured that, the less time she spent drugged into unconsciousness, the quicker that would happen.

"I'd rather not have the morphine" JJ answered, "and could you possibly find out when I'll be able to go home?"

"Of course" Chloe responded, sounding surprised. "Once I've given you the painkillers, I'll go and find the doctor."

JJ watched as Chloe fed the drugs into her IV and then left the room.

"Are you sure you're ready to leave JJ?" Emily asked with concern. "I don't think you should rush anything. If you need the morphine, you should have it."

"I'm fine" JJ snapped. "Let me make my own decisions. I just want to get out of here."

She immediately regretted snapping at her friend. Emily had been so supportive and even now, after JJ had snapped at her, was looking at her with nothing but concern written across her features.

"I'm sorry Em" she apologised after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. "I just hate being in hospital, being so ... dependant and ... weak."

"I know Jayje" Emily replied. "I understand. You've got nothing to apologise for and you're not weak, not at all. You're dealing with this so well."

The doctor walked into the room at this point, again holding JJ's chart.

"I hear you want to get out of here" she said to JJ. "Are you absolutely sure about that? You won't have access to the stronger painkillers at home."

"I'm sure" JJ said firmly.

"In that case" the doctor began, "as I said earlier, there is very little we can do for your injuries here, so there is no reason why you shouldn't be discharged. However, there are a few things that I need you to be aware of."

JJ nodded, eager to agree to whatever the doctor had to say.

"Firstly, I'm not going to be happy to discharge you until you've had something to eat. You've bruised your entire throat, not just your voice box, and eating is likely to be painful. When we've finished here I will arrange for something for you to eat. If you can't eat it we will have to set up a feeding tube, obviously meaning that you won't be able to leave. OK?"

JJ agreed, despite feeling that, even without her damaged throat, she really wouldn't want to eat at the moment.

"Secondly, you do need to rest" the doctor explained. "I know what you FBI agents are like, but you need complete rest for at least a week and you shouldn't go back to work for at least 2 weeks, probably longer. I'm going to prescribe you some Darvocet and I want you to take them. Broken ribs are extremely painful and you won't be able to breathe properly without the painkillers. If you don't breathe properly, because of the pain, you could end up with a chest infection. Do you understand?"

JJ nodded again and waited for the doctor to continue.

"I am also going to prescribe you some antibiotics, just in case. With the bite to your ear, the wounds on your neck and the damage caused by the sexual assault there is a risk of infection. You'll need to take those three times a day for a week. As far as the damage to your voice box is concerned, you will need to rest your voice as much as possible for the next few days. It is just badly bruised, so the damage isn't permanent, but it will be sore for some time."

The doctor stood up to leave, turning back to give some final information.

"I'll get your discharge papers organised and you should be out of here by lunchtime" she said. "One last thing ... You need to make sure you talk to someone about this. It's not something you can just ignore. It will tear you apart if you don't deal with it."

JJ smiled at her and answered, "I know that doctor. I'm not going to even attempt to deal with this on my own. I have Emily to talk to, and another friend back home, and the Bureau won't let me go back to work without talking to a professional. You don't have to worry about me."

Glancing at JJ's hand, which had been clutched tightly in Emily's the whole time she had been talking, the doctor replied with, "I can see that Agent Jareau."

As the doctor left Emily offered to give Hotch a call to see if they could arrange the jet for this afternoon. JJ thanked her and watched as she left the room to make the call. Finally alone in the room she allowed herself to let go of some of the defences that she had been building up in order to make herself seem strong. She was worried that Emily was taking too much on herself at the moment. She may not be a profiler, but she could understand how difficult she would find it if the tables had been turned and she was watching Emily go through this. She could see that her friend was struggling in her own way with the situation and she wanted to lessen the pressure if she could.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the nurse, Chloe, bringing her breakfast – oatmeal. She wrinkled her nose when she saw what it was; she hated oatmeal.

"You may not like it" Chloe said lightly, "but you'll probably find that oatmeal and soup are all you can manage at the moment."

JJ soon recognised the truth in this as she swallowed the first mouthful – it felt like razor blades being forced down her throat. Chloe had obviously noticed her grimace because she offered her a glass of water to help ease the food down. After 20 minutes, and 4 glasses of water, JJ had managed to finish the small bowl of food. The pain had lessened slightly as she got used to swallowing, but was still pretty intense. She sat back against the pillows again as Chloe took the bowl away.

"God JJ" Emily said, having returned to the room halfway through the process. "It was like you were doing battle with that oatmeal ... It hurt like hell, didn't it?"

"It got better in the end" JJ answered, "but yeah ... it did hurt like hell."

"I've spoken to Hotch about the jet" Emily explained. "He said that it will be ready to leave at 2, so we're going to spring you from here just before lunch and go to a diner to grab something to eat."

JJ gave her an incredulous look when she mentioned food.

"I know ... I know" Emily said, "and don't worry, no-one is going to force you to eat lunch, but the rest of us need to. The team are packing our bags at the moment and then Morgan is going to bring them here so you can get changed before you leave."

Emily paused at this point and looked uncomfortable.

"Will you be OK?" she questioned nervously. "With Morgan I mean."

"Em" JJ tried to reassure her. "I'm not going to suddenly turn into a man-hater just because I was ... because he ... because of what Thompson did to me."

She could see that her attempts to reassure Emily had been destroyed by her own inability to put into words what had happened to her, so she tried again.

"I'm not saying that I would be happy to be surrounded by a load of men at the moment" she said honestly, "but Morgan – he's different. The whole team are. They're family. I feel safe with them, so you don't need to worry."

"They would understand" Emily said, again taking her hand, "if you didn't feel comfortable ... They wouldn't be upset."

"I know" JJ said with a small smile. "Maybe that's why I feel so safe with them, because I know they won't push things."

Emily finally looked convinced by JJ's conviction that she wouldn't fall apart when Morgan walked into the room and they turned the conversation to lighter topics. For a few hours, as they talked (or Emily talked and JJ listened – her throat was killing her), JJ was nearly able to forget what had happened, only reminded by the odd flair of pain against the dull ache that she had finally become accustomed to. They talked comfortably until Morgan and the doctor arrived together; Morgan with JJ's go-bag and the doctor with her discharge papers and prescriptions.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

As Morgan sat on the jet waiting to take off, his thoughts turned to the events of the last few hours. When he had arrived at the hospital, he had once again been taken aback by JJ's appearance. Although she had obviously been cleaned up and some of the swelling had subsided, her face seemed to be one big bruise and when she had spoken her voice had been raw and pained. He had quickly hidden his shock and, since he had arrived with the doctor, had to wait only 20 minutes for her to be ready to leave.

He had driven them all to a diner near the airstrip where the rest of the team were already waiting. He had been shocked, and pleasantly surprised, when JJ had chosen to sit next to him, but had made no reference to it. They had all, except JJ, ordered food quickly. Rossi, ever the over-protective father figure, had begun to try to coax JJ into eating, but had been quickly warned off by a look from Emily. They had talked randomly about their plans for the upcoming weekend and, whilst JJ had not said much, she had involved herself in the discussion when prompted. When they had finished at the diner, they had made their way to the jet and now they were waiting for the pilots to do their final checks.

Morgan looked across the aisle to where the two female agents were sitting. JJ was next to the window, with Emily beside her. To his eyes, both women looked exhausted. He realised that, whilst most of the team had gone back to the hotel the previous night, Emily had stayed at the hospital with JJ and probably hadn't got any sleep at all. As he watched, the two agents seemed to be arguing quietly amongst themselves, although JJ soon gave up and sat staring out of the window. Emily stood up, asking JJ a question and receiving a quick nod in response, and walked to the front of the plane where the drinks were kept. Morgan followed, instinctively knowing that she needed a break and hoping he could convince her to take it. He caught up with her as she was taking two bottles of water out of the small fridge.

"Hey girl" he said easily as he approached. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good" she replied with a small smile.

Morgan paused before continuing, not wanting to upset her, but knowing that this needed to be said.

"No Emily, I don't think you are. No ... let me finish" he said as she attempted to brush him off. "You're clearly exhausted. I'm guessing you didn't get any sleep last night. You've taken all of this on yourself, without any help. You've been amazing with JJ – anybody can see that she's naturally more comfortable around you – but there are seven people on this team and it's time you let someone else shoulder some of the load. You need to take this time to get some sleep – you'll be no good to JJ if you make yourself ill."

"I'm just worried that she might not be comfortable with anyone else" Emily argued.

"Give me five minutes" Morgan offered. "If she's not happy you can take over, but at least give it a chance."

Emily gave in, handing him JJ's water and thanking him quietly before moving to sit at the back of the plane. He walked up to where JJ was sat, making sure she was aware of his presence before sitting down next to her.

"Did you manage to convince her to get some rest?" JJ asked as he sat down.

"I ... she ..." he stuttered, not expecting her question. "Yeah, I did. As long as we can make her believe that you're OK with me sat here ... are you?"

"I am" she answered, looking him straight in the eyes. "Please don't worry about that Derek. I need you guys to stop treating me like I'm going to break if you so much as look at me. I trust you all – implicitly. I feel safe with you."

Morgan could see that she was feeling emotional, which he was as well. It really touched him that she felt so comfortable with him, despite what had happened. He looked over at Emily, who was watching them like a hawk, and gave her a barely noticeable nod. He was relieved to see her get comfortable in her chair and close her eyes.

"Thanks" JJ said.

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"I tried to get her to get some sleep" JJ replied, "but she wouldn't listen to me. She kept telling me that she was fine, when she clearly wasn't, so ... thank you. She needed someone to tell her; someone she would listen to."

The plane had started to taxi as they had been talking and Morgan noticed that JJ had tensed, clenching her hands against the arm rests. She had never been nervous of flying before, so Morgan was surprised to see her visibly pale now.

"Hey Jayje" he said with concern. "Are you OK?"

She nodded initially, before obviously deciding to tell him the truth.

"The doctor said that flying would probably hurt" she explained, the apprehension showing in her eyes. "I'm cleared to fly, but she did warn me that the change in pressure would cause my ribs to hurt more."

"What can I do?" Morgan said, immediately wanting to protect her from the pain.

JJ smiled at his offer, but told him that she had already taken the painkillers and that she would just have to grin and bear it. As they took off she sat back against the chair and closed her eyes. As the plane climbed Morgan watched JJ grow paler as her clenched hands dug into the arm rest. Not able to just sit by and do nothing, he gently prized one of her hands away from the arm rest and clasped it in his own.

"Squeeze as hard as you like baby girl" he said.

Her eyes flew open at the contact, but she immediately relaxed when she saw who it was. She gratefully took hold of his hand and squeezed it as the pressure built. After 20 minutes they stopped climbing and Morgan realised gratefully that JJ had let go of his hand and opened her eyes.

"OK?" he asked gently.

"Better" she replied, smiling slightly. She looked exhausted, like the pain had taken it out of her.

"Why don't you go and lie down on the couch and get some sleep" he suggested.

"I can't get comfortable if I lie down flat" she answered. "If I'm on my back, my back hurts and if I'm on my side, my ribs hurt."

"Then why don't you stay here and lean on me" he offered. "Only if you're OK with it though."

She sat quietly for a few moments, obviously trying to decide what to do. He didn't interrupt her thoughts, realising that she needed to move forward at her own pace. Within a few minutes though, she had taken hold of his hand again and leant into his shoulder, closing her eyes. Twenty minutes later he felt her grasp loosen as she fell asleep.

He spent the rest of the flight quietly reading as JJ slept next to him. He was also glad to see that Emily was sleeping peacefully at the back of the plane. About an hour before they were due to land he felt JJ grasp tightly at his hand. When he turned to look at her she was still asleep, but was clearly in the throes of a nightmare.

"JJ" he said softly, trying to wake but not scare her. "JJ ... girl. You're having a nightmare. You need to wake up."

She had started to thrash around in her seat and was worried that she was going to hurt herself.

"JJ" he said again, a little louder this time. "Wake up."

As he finished talking, her eyes flew open and she sharply pulled her hand away from his and retreated into the corner, away from him.

"JJ, it's OK. It was just a nightmare" he said, trying to sound reassuring. "You're OK."

But JJ continued to pull away from him, a look of terror in her clouded eyes, so he stood up and moved away from her. Emily quickly sat in his vacated seat and continued to try to calm JJ down. He looked on as JJ slowly came round and began to recognise her surroundings, finally collapsing in tears in Emily's arms. It took Emily a full twenty minutes to talk JJ down. The nightmare had clearly been terrifying and JJ was obviously struggling to pull herself back to reality. When she had finally calmed, it was just about time for the plane to begin descending, meaning that she began to feel the pain caused by the pressure change again. By the time they were ready to disembark she looked to Morgan like she had reached the end of her tether.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Garcia impatiently paced around her small apartment, waiting for Emily and JJ to arrive. She had picked up 2 year old Henry from day-care two hours ago and he was now happily sat at her table colouring a picture for his Mom.

When she heard the knock on the door she practically fell over herself rushing to open it. When she did, she was glad that Emily had thought to call her earlier that day to warn her about JJ's injuries. Even with the warning she found it difficult not to exclaim aloud at what she saw. Both Emily and JJ looked exhausted as they walked into the apartment and JJ's face just seemed to be one big bruise.

"Mommy!" she heard Henry yell happily as he ran towards JJ. Garcia reached out in an attempt to stop him barrelling into JJ, but she missed and he kept on running. He stopped abruptly when he was a few metres away from his Mother, looking worried.

"Mommy?" he said questioningly, slowly backing away. "Mommy hurt?"

Garcia stepped forward and knelt next to the little boy.

"Yes Henry" she said gently. "It's like I told you earlier. Mommy got hurt at work yesterday. You need to be gentle with her."

"Mommy hurt!" he said again, with tears in his eyes. "Henry hug Mommy?"

JJ smiled gently at her son and said, "Just let me sit down pumpkin and then I'd love a hug."

She walked up to Garcia, giving her a quick hug before she took Henry's hand and led him over to the couch. She sat herself down carefully before pulling her son onto her lap, wincing at the pain this caused. Garcia watched with tears in her eyes as Henry gently cuddled into her.

"Poor Mommy" he said softly, gently stoking her hair. He sat on JJ's lap with his thumb in his mouth and his other hand tangled in her hair. It would have been a beautiful picture if it wasn't for the angry looking bruises covering JJ's face. Feeling a little like she was intruding on a private moment, Garcia led Emily into the bedroom, using the excuse that she needed to pack Henry's things.

"How is she?" she asked Emily as soon as they were in the bedroom. Her heart sank as Emily grimaced before answering.

"Not good" she said. "Although, to be fair she is much better than she could be. Physically she's clearly in alot of pain, despite the fact that she is trying to hide it. Emotionally ... I don't know. At times she seems to be dealing with it really well ... too well maybe, but she isn't managing to sleep for more than a few hours at a time without nightmares and they seem to be getting more intense. She had a nightmare on the plane and it was nearly half an hour before I could calm her down."

"What can we do?" Garcia asked, feeling helpless.

"What we're already doing" Emily replied simply. "We can be here for her, help her with Henry and listen when she is ready to talk."

"What are we going to do tonight?" Garcia asked. "She clearly can't look after Henry on her own!"

"I've offered to stay with her" Emily explained, "but it would be good if you could come with us... If you don't mind."

"Of course I don't" Garcia stated firmly. "Let me get some things together and then we can get going."

As Garcia was packing her bag Emily sat herself on the bed. Garcia could see that her friend was tired and she was glad that she would now be able to take some of the pressure off her. She was finding it difficult enough seeing JJ as she was now; she could only imagine how difficult it must have been to cope with the immediate aftermath of the attack. Without speaking, she finished packing and then followed Emily back into the main room. JJ was still on the couch, with a now sleeping Henry cuddled against her. She could see that Henry's weight against her chest was causing some discomfort so she offered to carry him to the car for her.

"No" JJ said sharply. "I mean ... just give me a minute."

"But he's hurting you" Garcia argued.

"I don't care" said JJ, emotion clouding her eyes. "Yesterday afternoon I didn't think I'd ever see him again. If he's hurting me it means he's here ... I'm here. I just need to feel him, even if it hurts."

Garcia nodded and sat beside her friend, putting an arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. JJ leant slightly into the embrace.

"I'll just put Henry's and your bags in the car" Emily said to Garcia before carrying the two bags out of the apartment.

JJ and Garcia sat in a comforting silence until Emily returned from the car. She walked into the room and knelt directly in front of JJ, looking into her eyes.

"Are you ready to go home Jayje?" she asked gently.

JJ nodded and allowed Garcia to lift Henry off her lap. Garcia, followed by JJ and Emily, carried the sleeping toddler down to Emily's car and clipped him into his car seat. JJ chose to sit in the back with her son so Garcia sat in the front next to Emily. The drive to JJ's took place in almost complete silence. They stopped briefly to pick up some take-out; Emily had even managed to convince JJ to order some Chicken noodle soup. When they arrived at their destination Garcia unclipped Henry and took him straight up to his cot, while Emily and JJ set the meal out on the kitchen table. When Garcia arrived in the kitchen they all sat down to eat. Garcia and Emily talked easily between themselves, but JJ sat in complete silence, obviously struggling to swallow her soup. After three spoonfuls she gave up and began to play with her spoon. Garcia gave Emily a concerned look and received a sharp shake of the head in return. Garcia took that to mean that she shouldn't push the issue, so instead she made a suggestion.

"Jayje sweetie" she said gently. "Why don't you take some painkillers and have a quick bath before you go to bed."

JJ nodded and stood up from the table. Garcia was shocked at how defeated she looked.

"Do you want me to run the bath for you?" she offered.

"No" JJ answered quietly. "I'm fine. You finish eating."

As JJ left the room Garcia and Emily continued to eat in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Garcia had been hoping that JJ would be happier and more settled once they got her home, but she had only seemed to become more withdrawn. As she and Emily finished their meal and tidied away in a companionable silence they could hear sounds of running water coming from the bathroom. When this ended, Garcia assumed that JJ had got into the bath. Both Garcia and Emily collected their bags from the entrance hall and carried them up to the guest room where they had both stayed a few times before. As they passed the bathroom Emily called out to their friend.

"Can I get you anything Jayje?" she asked.

"No. I'm good" was the sleepy reply. "I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Don't rush yourself honey" Garcia said. "Just relax. We're fine."

JJ merely mumbled something unintelligible in reply so Garcia and Emily settled themselves in their room and quietly made plans for supporting JJ over the coming weeks.

"I think that there should be someone here with her for at least the first week" Garcia suggested.

Emily quickly agreed, saying, "Even without the emotional trauma, her physical injuries are going to make looking after Henry difficult for a while. Its Saturday tomorrow, so the next two days are easy – we can both stay here, but I'm going to need to go in on Monday to give Hotch my report."

"I'm sure they'll let me work from here on Monday" Garcia said.

"As long as we don't have any cases come in" Emily said hopefully, "we should be able to take alternate days this week. I'll call Hotch tomorrow, but I'm sure he'll agree to it. We'll have to see how she is after this week before we make any other plans."

With their plans ready they finished talking and Garcia went to check on Henry while Emily got ready for bed. She quietly entered his darkened room to see that he was fast asleep, curled up in one corner of his cot, with his thumb in his mouth. She stood watching him for a few minutes – something which always managed to calm her down – before going back to the guest room where Emily was sat brushing her hair.

"What time is it?" Garcia asked.

"Nearly 10" Emily answered. Garcia was surprised; she had thought it was much earlier. Just as she was about to express worry about how long their friend had been in the bathroom JJ herself walked into the doorway, knocking lightly on the door.

"Guys" she said quietly, "I'm going to go to bed."

"That sounds like a good idea" Garcia said lightly. "Do you need anything?"

JJ paused and stared determinedly at the floor. There was obviously something that she wanted to say.

"What is it Jayje?" Emily asked.

JJ continued to stare at the floor as she answered. "Would you ... Could you ..." she stuttered. Garcia watched as JJ struggled to explain what she wanted. "I don't want to be alone" JJ said finally, looking up but still avoiding their eyes. "Could you stay with me tonight?"

Recognising how much it must have cost her fiercely independent friend to admit to this, Garcia immediately stood up and pulled her into a hug.

"Of course honey" she exclaimed.

"How about you and I go into your room now" Emily suggested, "and Garcia can get ready for bed. We could both stay with you tonight. Is that OK?"

JJ nodded, tears filling her eyes.

"Thanks" she said softly.

When JJ and Emily left the room Garcia quickly got herself ready for bed before joining them in the master bedroom. JJ was already laying in the centre of the king size bed she had previously shared with Will and Emily was lying on her right hand side. Garcia turned the light off and, without speaking, slipped into the bed on JJ's left side. She listened as first JJ's and then Emily's breath evened out as they fell asleep, but she lay awake for some time, desperately worried about her best friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Emily woke suddenly to the sounds of whimpering and crying. It took her a few moments to work out where she was, meaning that it was Garcia who turned to comfort JJ first. Unfortunately it also meant that Emily didn't have time to warn Garcia before she reached out to stroke JJ's face, saying "it's ok sweetie...Calm down, there's a good girl." JJ immediately freaked out; kicking and hitting out at Garcia, who instantly fell of the bed.

"JJ" Emily said clearly, keeping her distance from the traumatised agent. "It's ok ... It's me; it's Emily... Look at me Jayje."

"Emily?" JJ asked, looking lost and confused as she opened her eyes. Realising that she was finally becoming conscious of her surroundings, Emily moved closer and took JJ's hand in her own.

"It's me JJ" she said again. "You're ok. It was just a nightmare."

JJ's eyes widened as she came to and she pulled away from Emily, jumped off the bed and ran from the room. Seconds later Emily could hear her throwing up in the bathroom. Picking up a distraught Garcia on the way, she followed JJ into the bathroom. She sent Garcia downstairs to get a glass of water and JJ's pills before kneeling behind JJ and holding her hair back as she was sick. The sickness didn't last long - Emily figured that there couldn't have been much left in her stomach to come up – and within a few minutes JJ had leant back against Emily. She was crying softly, obviously in alot of pain. Garcia walked in silently at this point, tears still drying on her cheeks, and handed JJ the glass of water. JJ took it shakily, quietly thanking Garcia, and took a few small sips. When Garcia offered the pills however, she refused them, claiming she didn't need painkillers.

"Jayje" Emily chided softly. "You must be in absolute agony. Throwing up is painful enough without broken ribs and a bruised throat. Take the painkillers – you need them."

"I'm fine" JJ said sharply, standing up and walking from the room.

Emily didn't move to start with, as she struggled with her own emotions. She could hear Garcia crying again however and pulled herself together so she could comfort her.

"It's not your fault" she said gently, standing to pull Garcia into a hug.

"I shouldn't have touched her" Garcia sobbed.

"You couldn't know" Emily reassured her. "You didn't know exactly what had happened, so you couldn't know that would freak her out."

Garcia gradually calmed her tears and thanked Emily before they both walked back into the bedroom. JJ was already lying in the bed and was clearly trying to avoid their gaze. Emily watched as Garcia got into the bed and put her arm around JJ's shoulders.

"Is that ok Jayje?" she asked nervously.

JJ didn't answer, but did turn slightly into the embrace, resting her head on Garcia's shoulder. Emily sighed with relief and also got into the bed. A few seconds later she felt JJ's hand searching for something, so she grasped it gently. She felt JJ relax slightly. Emily was pretty sure they all lay awake for some time on this occasion, but eventually she heard Garcia's breathing even out and she felt herself drifting into sleep.

The next time she woke it was starting to get light outside. When she checked the clock on her side of the bed it read 5:10 am. She turned over carefully, not wanting to wake anyone, but soon realised that JJ wasn't in the bed. Her initial panic was short lived when she realised that the TV was on downstairs. She quietly got out of bed, leaving a still sleeping Garcia, and headed downstairs. When she reached the main room, she saw that JJ was sat in the centre of the couch, wrapped in a blanket and staring unseeingly at the television. Emily walked into the room and sat next to her friend.

"Can't sleep?" she asked.

JJ merely nodded in reply, not looking away from the screen.

"How long have you been down here?" Emily pushed.

JJ shrugged. "Three and a half episodes of Grey's Anatomy" she said dully.

"Have you taken any painkillers?" Emily asked gently, taking in JJ's red-rimmed eyes and pinched expression.

"I can't" JJ said tearfully, finally looking away from the TV. "They make me sleepy."

"Surely that's a good thing" Emily said, confused.

"I don't want to sleep" JJ said, beginning to break down. "Every time I do I see him and hear him and ... and feel him on me."

Emily watched as JJ leant forward in her seat and took in a couple of deep breaths, wincing in pain. She was clearly trying to hold back the tears, although a few did escape down her cheeks. Emily didn't feel that holding things back would be helpful in the long run, but also didn't want to push JJ, so she merely inched herself closer to her friend and put a comforting arm around her shoulders

"That will get better Jayje" Emily said, hoping to reassure her. "It happened less than two days ago. It's natural to feel like that now, but it will improve. You're strong; you will get through this."

"I don't think I can" JJ said desperately. "I don't think I can do this."

Emily took JJ's face in her hands and turned it so that she was looking her in the eyes.

"You can do this JJ" she said firmly. "I know you and I know that you can do this. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but you can get through this. You don't have to do this alone; you have got so much support. You'll get there ... You will."

JJ didn't respond verbally to what Emily had said, but did lean in towards her friend. Emily slowly moved over to the corner of the couch, gently pulling JJ with her until JJ was leaning against Emily, who was supported by the couch. They sat in silence for some time, supposedly watching the TV. Emily wasn't sure about JJ, but she knew she had taken in little of the episode that was showing. She had spent the time worriedly listening to JJ's breathing, which was alarmingly shallow and irregular. Emily figured that JJ was in more pain than she was letting on and was avoiding taking proper breaths as a result.

"Jayje" she said finally, having decided that, as much as she didn't want to push JJ, she needed to make this point. "I really think you need to take some painkillers. No ... listen" as JJ tried to argue; "you are obviously in alot of pain and it's affecting your breathing. The doctor said that this might happen and she also said that this could lead to an infection. I just don't think you can afford for that to happen at the moment."

"I know" JJ said. "I do understand that, but I don't think I can cope with another nightmare."

"I promise that I won't let that happen" Emily said. "If you sleep here and I stay awake, I'll know when you start to get restless and I'll wake you."

"You promise?" JJ asked. "Even if you think that I need more sleep, you will wake me up?"

"Absolutely" Emily said, already standing up so she could collect JJ's pills from upstairs. As JJ nodded her agreement Emily rushed to collect the pills and a glass of water and handed them to JJ. She sat herself back in the corner of the couch, placing a cushion on her lap. Once JJ had taken the pills Emily encouraged her to lie down with her head on the pillow. JJ lay down and covered herself in the blanker and within 10 minutes had fallen into a deep sleep.

As JJ slept Emily watched the TV, changing channels until she found a film which had only just started. She half watched the film as she kept an eye on her sleeping friend, watching out for signs of distress. The film was half way through at 7am when Garcia carried a sleepy Henry downstairs.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Garcia asked in a quiet, if accusatory, tone.

"I'm sorry Garcia" Emily responded quietly. "I figured it would be best if at least one of us got some sleep."

Garcia softened, obviously accepting Emily's reasoning, and took Henry into the kitchen to feed him his breakfast. Emily turned back to the film. It finished at just gone 8am, by which time Garcia had fed, bathed and dressed Henry, settling him in a corner of the room with some toys. At first he had fussed and cried, obviously desperate to see his Mom, but he had eventually settled down to play quietly alone. As he played, Emily explained to Garcia what had happened earlier that morning.

JJ slept for another hour before she started to get restless. As soon as Emily recognised the signs of a nightmare she gently woke her friend. JJ opened her eyes and, although they were slightly clouded with fear, they were considerably calmer than they had been the last time JJ had woken.

"OK Jayje?" Emily asked hopefully.

JJ nodded slowly as she gradually woke up. "Thanks" she said as she sat up.

"Breakfast!" Garcia called as she walked into the room, carrying a heavily laden tray. Emily saw JJ's face fall slightly at the mention of food.

"It's ok Jayje" Garcia said enthusiastically. "I've got the perfect solution ... Smoothies!"

She proudly passed JJ a tall glass filled with a pink coloured smoothie.

"Banana and strawberry" she said as she watched for JJ's reaction. To her obvious relief JJ smiled and sipped the drink.

"Thanks Garcia" she said after a few mouthfuls. "That's perfect."

Emily and Garcia breakfasted on toast and watched JJ anxiously as she drank the smoothie. They were both relieved that, whilst it clearly caused her some pain, she was able to finish the whole thing.

The rest of the weekend passed in a similar fashion. JJ happily slept during the day as long as someone was on constant watch, but could still only manage 2-3 hours at a time before the nightmares began. She absolutely refused, however, to take painkillers or sleep at night; terrified that the nightmares would take over, with no-one to wake her.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Hotch knocked on JJ's front door and waited for it to be answered. When Prentiss had called him on Saturday and explained their plan for the week, he had suggested that she and Garcia take Monday off to stay with JJ. He had also offered to drive out to JJ's place during the lunch break to collect Emily's report and to check in with JJ himself. It was Prentiss who answered the door, with an excited Henry bouncing around her.

"Hots ... it's Hots" Henry called as the door opened.

Hotch smiled, he had already been subjected to some serious teasing about Henry's latest attempts at saying his name. He pulled the little boy into his arms and tickled him. Henry looked at Hotch very seriously.

"You's got to be quiet Hots" he said, putting his finger to his mouth. "Mommy is sleeping."

"I'll be quiet" Hotch said, just as seriously. "I promise."

Henry wriggled to be let down, obviously satisfied with Hotch's promise. As Hotch set him down he ran into the main room and Hotch and Emily followed him quietly. As they walked through the main room, Hotch noticed that Henry was sat quietly at a table in the corner playing with some cars and Garcia was sat on the couch with JJ sleeping against her. Emily led him into the kitchen where she had spent the morning typing up her report, which she now passed across the table to him. They both sat at the table in silence while Hotch read the report.

Although Emily had already explained to the team what had happened to JJ, she had previously avoided going into any real detail. He could feel himself getting tenser and tenser as he read the report. As he finished it he had to make a real effort to stop himself from hitting out in some way, although he did recognise that that wouldn't be in any way helpful.

"How is she?" he asked Emily.

He watched as Emily struggled for an answer, noticing the exhaustion that momentarily crossed her features before she suppressed it.

"I don't know" she said slowly. "When it's daytime and she's awake, she can seem fine. She's been really good at staying positive around Henry and she is starting to eat more."

"But..." Hotch prompted.

"She's barely sleeping" Emily said tiredly. "She won't sleep at all, or take any painkillers, at night and she'll only sleep during the day if one of us stays with her and wakes her if she gets restless. Even then, she's not getting more than 2-3 hours at a time before the nightmares start and they seem to be terrifying – she shoved Garcia off the bed on Friday night. That's when she started refusing to sleep properly. Having said that ... she has been asleep for nearly 4 hours now."

"What about her injuries?" Hotch asked.

"The pain is manageable when she takes the painkillers" Emily said, "but I'm pretty sure it's excruciating at night, although she tries desperately hard to hide it. I've made an appointment for her with her doctor tomorrow to see if we can get some different painkillers; ones that don't make her drowsy."

"And what about you and Garcia – how are you doing?" Hotch asked. It didn't take a profiler to see that Emily was exhausted. He also figured that, if Emily was finding things difficult, then Garcia must be struggling just as much, if not more.

Emily grimaced, obviously disappointed that she hadn't managed to fool him.

"We're tired, obviously" she said. "If JJ isn't sleeping, then at least one of us is awake with her. And it's really difficult to see her like this. We're so used to her being... in control, that it's difficult to see her vulnerable in this way."

They talked for a few minutes, making plans for the coming week. They agreed to revert to Emily's previous plan. Garcia would work in the office on Tuesday and Thursday while Emily worked at JJ's and they would swap places on Wednesday and Friday. Once they had agreed on this they both walked back into the main room and sat down on a couple of chairs opposite Garcia and JJ. He saw Emily give Garcia a questioning look.

"No nightmares?" she asked hopefully.

"Nothing" Garcia said with a smile, carefully stroking JJ's back. "Over 4 hours now."

While they were speaking Hotch noticed JJ's eyelids fluttering. A few seconds later she opened her eyes and looked directly at him.

"Hey" she said quietly.

"Hey" he said in return. "How are you feeling?"

"OK" she answered as she cautiously sat up, wincing slightly.

"No nightmares?" Garcia asked gently.

"No, nothing" JJ said sounding surprised, but happy.

They were interrupted when Henry noticed that his Mom was awake and came running over to them. He very gently climbed up next to his Mom and cuddled up to her. Despite the fact that the child was very careful, Hotch could still see the pain etched on JJ's face. Emily had obviously noticed it too, as she went into the kitchen and returned with some pills and a glass of water which she handed to JJ. JJ smiled thankfully at Emily before swallowing the pills with a mouthful of water.

A few minutes later Garcia and Emily took Henry into the kitchen to 'help' them make lunch, leaving JJ and Hotch alone.

"You're looking better than the last time I saw you" Hotch said.

JJ gave him a small smile, but didn't say anything.

"How are you actually feeling?" he asked.

JJ sighed and Hotch realised that she was probably sick of answering that question.

"Are you going to let me get away with saying that I don't really know how I feel?" JJ responded cryptically.

"If that's how you feel right now" Hotch answered.

"I don't really know how I should be feeling" JJ continued, staring at her hands. "Part of me is terrified, although I couldn't explain to you why I'm scared. I mean, he's dead isn't he! He can't get to me again. I feel like I should be dealing with this better. I'm trained to help people through this sort of thing and I can't even get through it myself. What does that say about me?"

"It says that you are normal" Hotch replied. He stood up and went to sit down beside her, putting his hand on top of hers so that she would stop fidgeting and listen to what he was saying. "You were attacked less than five days ago. It's only natural to feel sacred. There would be something wrong with you if you didn't. You experienced firsthand what one human being can do to another and that's terrifying because you now know exactly what people are capable of. Given all of that, I think you are dealing with this brilliantly. You are strong; you are going to get through this."

"I wish I had as much faith in myself as you guys seem to have in me" JJ sighed.

"We have that faith because we know you" Hotch said. "It might not seem like it now, but you can do this. Especially given all of the support you've got."

JJ nodded. "Everyone has been so amazing. I couldn't have got this far without Emily and Garcia; especially Emily."

"And you don't need to. You know that any one of us will be here if you need us ... whenever you need us" Hotch said, taking a card out of his pocket. "At the same time, I know that sometimes it might be easier to talk to someone who isn't so involved. This is the number for the department psychiatrist. I want you to give her a call. This is not about deciding whether you are ready to get back to work or not. It's about you getting the help that you need. I think it might be useful for you to have someone to vent to, someone you're not going to have to work with."

JJ took the card he was offering and thanked him with a small but genuine smile. The moment was interrupted when Emily, Garcia and Henry returned with lunch. After lunch Hotch returned to the office, happy that JJ was dealing with this as well as could be expected.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It was a Friday evening, just over two weeks after the attack, and JJ was in her kitchen with Emily and Garcia preparing a meal for the rest of the team. The last few weeks had, on occasion, been a living hell for her. She had spent much of the first week struggling desperately with the emotional consequences of the attack, alongside her own reaction to them. She had barely slept in that week, terrified of the nightmares which became progressively worse as the time moved on. Eventually she had given in and accepted the sleeping pills that her doctor had offered her. This, coupled with her daily appointments with the department psychiatrist, had gradually helped her to feel more able to work through her emotions. Over the past week she had begun to feel comfortable sleeping alone at night and the nightmares, whilst still plaguing her nightly, were less intense and less frequent, meaning that she was getting an acceptable amount of sleep. Garcia and Emily had continued to stay at her house and had been a constant source of support, especially on the few occasions, like last night, when the nightmares were still too much for her to handle alone. She had managed to convince them, however, that it was time for them to go back to their own homes, mainly for their own good, but also because she recognised that she needed to learn to cope without them. This was the reason for the team meal tonight – as a thank you to the whole team, but especially Garcia and Emily, for their support.

As she added the finishing touches to her famous chilli, she heard the rest of the team and her son walk into the kitchen. Henry immediately came running when he saw her, throwing himself at her legs. As she slowly bent to pick him up she was sharply reminded of the lingering physical effects of her ordeal. While the bruises on her face had faded relatively quickly, the deeper bruising to her back and her broken ribs continued to cause her intermittent pain. One of the biggest problems was that once the obvious signs of injury had faded Henry had quickly forgotten about being careful around her. Something which became all too apparent as she picked him up now.

Henry, over-excited at the presence of the whole team at his house, wriggled in her arms. As he wriggled he kicked out, hitting her in the centre of her chest, precisely where her two broken ribs were. The pain was so intense that she momentarily felt the world start to spin. She barely noticed Garcia rush to take Henry from her arms as she turned to lean heavily on the table, taking a breath in an attempt to steady herself. As her vision cleared she noticed Emily hovering anxiously beside her.

"JJ, are you ok?" Emily asked worriedly. "Come and sit down. I'll go and get your pills."

"I'm fine" JJ said through gritted teeth. "Just give me a minute."

"No JJ" Emily argued. "You're not fine; you're in agony. Come and sit down."

"I said I'm fine" JJ shouted, ignoring the pain that this caused. "God; will you please stop smothering me."

With this she stormed out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to her bedroom. She wasn't just in pain; she was pissed! Every time she thought she was moving forward and was feeling positive about things something would happen to trip her up. If it wasn't a particularly bad nightmare it was the fact that she couldn't even damn well cuddle her son without nearly collapsing from the pain. When she reached her room she slammed the door and slid down the wall until she was sat on the floor, tears coursing down her cheeks. She was sick of feeling like this. She really just wanted to be able to move on without these constant setbacks.

Even as she sat crying against the wall, she began to recognise that she had massively over-reacted to the situation, probably upsetting Emily into the bargain. She mentally cursed herself as she realised that she had taken her frustration out on the person who had undoubtedly been her biggest support.

"Knock knock" came Morgan's voice from outside the door, interrupting her thoughts. He peeped through the door, nervously asking "can I come in?"

"You can come in" she said. "I'm not going to bite your head off."

He came into the room, quietly shutting the door behind him before sitting down on the floor next to her. She instinctively rested her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly.

"You don't need to apologise JJ" he said sympathetically.

"Maybe not to you" she said.

"I'm sure Emily will understand" he responded, immediately catching on to her concern.

"She shouldn't have to" JJ said angrily. "I shouldn't be taking my frustration out on any of you, especially not Emily – she doesn't deserve that."

"Maybe not" Morgan conceded, "but it's only natural for you to feel frustrated and angry and it's human nature to take that out on the people that you're closest to. Emily will understand that."

"Will?" asked JJ. "Meaning she doesn't at the moment?"

Great, she thought, now I've upset the one person who has been by my side through all of this.

"She's just tired" Morgan tried to reassure her. "I'm sure she has already calmed down."

"She's tired because she has spent the last two weeks trying to keep me from falling apart" JJ argued. "I need to go and see her."

She attempted to lean on the wall to stand up, but the pain from her ribs was still too raw, so Morgan eventually had to help her up.

"She's next door" Morgan said, referring to the guest room, "with Garcia."

JJ walked nervously to the other room and opened the door. Emily and Garcia were sat on the bed closest to the door. Garcia had her arm around Emily's shoulder and Emily had clearly been crying. JJ mentally cursed herself again when she saw this; she didn't think she had seen Emily cry more than twice in all of the time that she had known her.

"Hey" she said quietly, causing both women to look up. Garcia immediately stood up and left the room, hugging both JJ and Emily on her way out.

"I'm so sorry" JJ said as she sat on the bed next to her friend.

"I'm sorry Em" she said again. "I was just so frustrated. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I didn't mean what I said."

"I know that" Emily said with a small smile. "You don't need to apologise."

"Yes I do" JJ said firmly. "I know that I have every right to be frustrated and angry, but I have no right to take it out on you. You have been ... so amazing through all of this. I really don't think I would have made it through without you. So I do need to apologise ... I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Apology accepted" Emily responded, pulling JJ into a gentle hug. JJ hugged her back, even though it hurt like hell.

"Now" Emily continued, "are you going to snap at me if I suggest some painkillers?"

"No" JJ answered. "I'm not going to argue with you over that."

Emily helped JJ off the bed and they both went downstairs to rejoin the team. When they got to the kitchen they found that dinner was ready and the table had been set. They all settled down to enjoy JJ's chilli. Despite the pain that she was still in during the meal, JJ enjoyed every minute of the time she spent with her friends, recognising how lucky she was to have such an amazing group of people in her life.

**A/N I'm going to finish it there. I hope you have all enjoyed it!**


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